My grandpa passed away on October 17, 2025. He was 94. In Chinese culture, we celebrate more than mourn those who pass away at that age because it’s rare and impressive for somebody to live that long. Rest in peace, grandpa. You lived a long and meaningful life.
At first, I was sad when I heard the news. I thought…I’m not gonna be greeted by my grandpa anymore when I call home. It felt like another chunk of my life was taken away from me.
I grew up with my grandpa. Some of my earliest memories of my grandpa are eating at his house on the weekdays for dinner. Two things always stood out to me: his love for Chinese opera and the way he greeted friends over the phone.
I remember him trying to watch Chinese opera during dinner. Whenever the phone rang, he’d answer with a simple “hello”, but if it was one of his friends, his voice would light up with this big “AYYYYYY!” My dad and I would laugh every single time we heard it.
As I’ve grown older, I’ve come to recognize more of the things he loved. He enjoyed playing chess and eating noodles. I forgot how many chess games I’ve played with him, but I know I lost most of them. That’s how good he was, even at his age.
I’d see how happy he got when eating noodles…something I never really noticed as a kid. And I’m just glad that he got to enjoy doing the things he loved with the people he loved.
Seeing my grandfather laugh always gave me a warm feeling.
Before the funeral, I wondered if I learned anything from my grandpa. After thinking long and hard about it, I identified two things: don’t worry about the little things and remember your culture.
Don’t worry about the little things
After I lost a game of Chinese chess, I asked my grandpa for a piece of advice on how to live to his old age. This was like 2-3 years ago.
He said “Don’t let the little things distract and worry you” because all of us will go through a lot of stuff in life. A lot of things will not be in our control, so it’s important to not lose sight on the big picture.
I’ve been applying that steadily to my life. If I find myself focusing or getting overwhelmed with little details on a project or thinking about all the stuff I have to do on a weekend or having to balance many tasks, I pick out what’s most important and tell myself “small details, small details” for everything else
Looking back, I wish I would’ve asked him more or to explain himself. He fought in two wars and spent at least a year on foot just trying to escape one as a child. He’s seen things I can hardly imagine, so I know there was real weight behind those words. Rest in peace, grandpa. I’ll carry that lesson with me wherever I go.
Remember and celebrate your cultural identity
My grandpa would always say how happy he was when my sister and I would come back home to celebrate Chinese holidays. The holidays were an opportunity for the family to get back together, and family is the central theme of Chinese holiday traditions, particularly during Lunar New Year.
I learned most about my grandparent’s past and about proper table etiquette during these family meals. In fact, I’ve already practiced some of that table etiquette outside with other family and friends.
So I’m starting to appreciate and celebrate who I am as an Asian because of my grandpa.
Rest in peace, Grandpa (爺爺). The next time we meet, I’ll make you a bowl of noodles and we’ll play a game of Chinese chess.
I made a Father’s Day video with my grandparents a while back. It’ll be part of my tribute to my grandpa.
