I’m learning that significant life changes involve both internal and external changes. These two changes are like the head and tails of a coin. Although they’re on different sides, they’re on the same coin and you can’t have one without the other. What reminded me of this was doing my chores two weekends ago.
So I cleaned my room a couple of Saturdays ago (you may call me Mr. Responsible :)). I threw out old clothes, trashed super old grocery receipts, and got rid of all unread mail and papers that laid on my coffee table. After I finished cleaning, I felt like a new person filled with positivity and drive. It felt great.
To reward myself, I started playing online chess. I told myself “lets just play a couple of bullet games. Then I’ll start working on my software projects”. What I thought was 15 minutes of bullet games turned into 2 hours of bullet games…and the thing with bullet chess is that your frustration can rise real fast. So the proud and positive adult I was 2 hours ago turned into an undisciplined and completely stressed out adult. So much for cleaning my room right? Mentally, I ended up right where I was before cleaning my room. To be honest, this wasn’t the first time this had happened, but the decision to not limit break time was something I needed to change.
What are internal and external changes?
Internal changes are like changes in your motivations, feelings, habits (like going past my break time limits and getting stressed out about it), morals, or beliefs. External changes are like changes in your environment (like cleaning my bedroom), the friends you make, or the food you eat.
Do they equally contribute to life changes?
I feel like it’s more a 70-30 distribution. 70% of the change you have in your life should come from the inside while 30% should come the outside. I gave it a 70-30 because I feel like most of the time, internal changes are more important and harder to make than external, but they’re both needed when trying to become a better version of yourself.
Taking from my room cleaning example – if I wanted to change my career and all I did was clean my room to do that, I don’t think I’d get very far. I’d need to also hustle and make sure my mental health was in tip top shape. At the same time, I can decide to make sure my mental health was in check, but if my room is super messy everyday, then it’ll be hard to work effectively because your environment contributes to your productivity.
So for me, I’m still going to clean my room, but when it comes to taking a break, I’m not going to play chess. I’m planning to watch Suits instead. I’m also telling myself every time I take a break that I’m doing it to refresh; I am reminding myself of my intentions for taking the break.
To conclude, I like what David Goggins said on the Joe Rogan podcast. It was something along the lines of this:
“You can dress a turd however you like…make it pretty or good looking, but at the end of the day, it’s still a turd.”
What are your thoughts on external and internal changes?
As always,
Be Confident. Stay Curious.
