My friend and I were having a deep conversation about the fear of failure out in his front yard at night. He had just finished helping me diagnose a car issue I was having. We were talking about how often we overthink in situations where we’ve messed up. He said the key to beating tough situations or handling mistakes is overcoming the panic mode, which is what you feel when things go south. This really resonated with me because I’m an overthinker.
For example, my friend and I had been replacing a spark plug and ignition coil in my car’s engine. My engine had recently been knocking a lot on cold start. I put a 3/4″ socket into the cylinder head to loosen the spark plug, but it got stuck. I immediately panicked. I was like – “oh shit. We can’t get this out. My engine’s screwed. My car is screwed. I need to get a new car”
Fortunately, my friend, who is a very handy person, was calm and collected. He got some pliers and slowly wiggled the socket out. To be honest, I didn’t even think about getting pliers because I was using my fingers. It took a couple of minutes since there was barely any clearance between the chamber and the socket. Once he got it out, I had a sigh of relief. All my thoughts and worries just vanished.
Confronting and overcoming that panic mode
This conversation really reminded me that it’s all about getting out of that panic mode.
My natural instinct when I mess up is to overthink or run away, but over the last year, I’ve been confronting and challenging my feelings more when I start to panic. By doing so, I’ve felt less anxious about my situation because I realize things aren’t as bad as they seem. By feeling less anxious, I am able to think more clearly.
If you’re someone like me who overthinks and worries a lot, it’s pretty hard to overcome this panic mode. One negative thought leads to another and it becomes a negative cycle of thinking.
Here are two things I’ve learned over the last couple of years that have helped me:
- Ask yourself this: Will this matter in six months? If not, don’t let it wreck your mental health today.
- If you’re already in hell (aka this panic mode), why spend time dwelling in it? Spend more time focusing on how to get out.
