I want to quit my full time job. Actually. I should say my part time job. It used to be full time until July of last year when I transitioned to part time. I was so stressed from work that I was getting constant headaches (and therefore eating constant pain medication), stomach problems, throat problems, being really annoyed and negative all the time, etc…My health was declining so fast that I realized that the paycheck wasn’t worth it. So instead of quitting, I decided to go part time to focus on a new career and get my health back on track. And I sorta did…But today, I just realized that I was letting myself get dragged back into the job that I despised. I despised the job because the company didn’t respect my time, the management was so toxic with unrealistic schedules and deadlines, and everybody who I worked with didn’t care about their work. And when you work in an environment where nobody cares about what they do, it’s so mentally degrading.
And I realized I took a plunge back into that environment. And I got so stressed today that I just had to stop everything I was doing and take like the afternoon off. The first thing I craved was alcohol…which is pretty bad…I told myself I would never drink for stress and I did. I went to Chiles and got myself a margarita haha. But I’m writing this because even as a part timer, working on something you hate and don’t care about will still tear your soul apart and affect the thing you want to do and care about outside of work. So I’m writing this because something is going to have to change again. I so desperately want to quit but I will have no financial back up plan and that terrifies me. Something has to change because if I’m getting this stressed again part time, there’s something I’m doing wrong.
