I went back to Michigan to visit some college friends this past weekend, and I would say it’s probably been the most fun weekend I’ve ever had since the start of the year. We were living as if we were college students again…just without homework :). Each day was filled with Super Smash, poker, a lot of junk food, and good company. I felt so stress free that I didn’t even experience any of my GERD. It didn’t occur to me then that this weekend would show me that all my health issues came from my own life style…specifically how I struggle with and handle stress.
Stress and my struggle with GERD
I’ve struggled with GERD for the past 4 years. GERD is Gastroesophageal reflux disease. It occurs when stomach acid repeatedly flows back into your esophagus, which is the tube that connects your mouth to your stomach. Common symptoms of GERD is heartburn, throat irritation, vomiting, and abdominal pain — all of which I’ve unfortunately experienced over the past 4 years.
I’ve never really deduced why it started but if I had to guess, it’s 90% stress and 10% my diet. When I first had symptoms, I honestly thought it was because of the rotten food I ate over Thanksgiving. I sort of thought it was a reaction – nothing to be afraid of…it’ll go away on it’s own. But my work and personal stress just exacerbated the problem. Just to name a few things…I was throwing up almost everyday. I was feeling bloated after everything I ate. Things just got worse until I had enough and went to the GI (gastroenterologist). The first GI said he didn’t see any issues in my stomach after the endoscopy. So I was left quite perplexed and didn’t really do all that much to change my situation…
I can keep going and to be honest, this could be a whole blog in itself, but this specific weekend was almost like a diagnosis. It showed me how much stress played a role in causing my GERD. Before I came to Michigan, I had given up coffee and junk food. I was living a very unhealthy lifestyle of personal beratement and stress. During my time at Michigan, I was able to eat korean fried chicken, sip a latte, and stay up until 4 AM. I wasn’t feeling bloated or any heartburn. I felt free from my struggles in a sense.
There’s a time and place for everything
Pokémon was right…. If you’ve ever tried to ride your Pokémon bicycle anywhere inside or on water, a message from Professor Oak will pop up saying “There’s a time and place for everything!”
I didn’t exactly try to ride my bicycle on water or indoors but I found myself unable to imagine living in my friend’s neighborhood. As my friend was driving us to visit another friend, I remember looking around the area we were in. The cookie cutter houses, the cleanliness of the streets, and how green everything looked. The environment just felt so safe, stable, and established. Every house and lawn I passed by looked so well maintained.
I felt like if I were married and had kids, I would want to live in this environment; however, I don’t exactly seek stability and establishment right now. I seek a dynamic life where I’m exploring and just trying new things. For example, I’m really experimenting with my career. I’m not even sure if I want to stay in engineering – I don’t think my friends would really entertain this thought since they all are married and trying to start families. I just met one of my friends who is now a father of 2! And it honestly felt like the last time I hung out with him was when I was a freshmen in college.
I do believe that we all have seasons in our lives where doing something might not make sense in the now but it may make sense in the future. Our priorities and goals for life constantly change. I’m starting to journal more and remind myself of that fact. That way I can use my time and focus more effectively.
Real lyrics from NF
One of my Michigan friends introduced to me NF’s music and I’ve fallen in love with the rapper. I don’t listen to a lot of rap because it’s either hard to follow the lyrics or the lyrics are about sex, drugs, and violence. With NF, I can follow and resonate with what he says. His lyrics are so real. For example, as I’m really struggling to take chances with my career and personal health, he spits out this verse:
“Life’s about taking chances, making moves Not about what you did, it’s what you do Build on what you got and learn from what you lose And never let people distract you from being you.”
I encourage you to check out his music! My favorite song is Happy.
