You get in life what you have the courage to ask for
oprah winfr
After I dropped off my car at Costco for a tire check, I walked over to a nearby Starbucks to study some code and journal.
As I was walking over, I was thinking about what drink I should get. Caramel Macchiato? Maybe just a Starbucks Refresher? Since I was planning to drive back to California, I thought – let’s get a Venti Caramel Macchiato. I can use my rewards to get it for free. I can drink half and save the other half for the drive tomorrow. It would be a perfect drink to have for a long drive.
When I got up to the register, I looked at the menu just to make sure I wanted the Caramel Macchiato. I saw the White Chocolate Mocha and thought – that actually sounds way better. So I instinctively said “Grande Iced White Chocolate Mocha”. After I finished paying, I was pumped to get my supposedly ordered “Venti” drink.
When they called my name, I was a bit shocked to see a Grande drink. It was then that I had realized that I forgot to say Venti. To be honest, the first thing I wanted to do was ask if they could remake my drink for a Venti size.
But I held back. I walked back to my seat pretty disappointed. I sat in my seat for a solid 5 minutes just thinking whether or not I should walk back up and ask to have another drink made. Some part of me felt like I honestly had nothing to lose. A part of me really looked forward to having that Venti drink on my drive back to California.
As I’m writing this post, I can’t help but think – I was stressing over a cup of coffee. Why did I make such a big deal?
Why am I afraid to ask for what I want
I am afraid to ask for things I want because I am afraid it will make me look selfish, bothersome, or needy. I only ask for things if I believe I deserve it. This mindset was engrained into me since I was a kid. And to be honest, as an Asian, you don’t want to be judged that way.
A really really common example of me being afraid to ask for what I want is when I order food at Chipotle. There will be a handful of times when the worker would skimp out on the amount of steak he would put on my steak bowl. I wanted him to put more steak in. I never had the courage to ask because I always thought – “you get what you deserve. Don’t ask or else they might argue with you or lecture you”.
I asked and they answered
All of a sudden, one of the baristas (her name was Cristine) started walking around and cleaning up the empty tables. She started asking the table right next to me how their tea drink was.
She then came around to me and asked how my drink was. I told her it was good, and it was at this moment where I thought…it’s now or never. Just ask.
So I said my drink was good. I then mentioned how I originally intended on getting a Venti size instead of a Grande. Before I was about to ask the question, she immediately asked if I wanted my drink to be remade. I asked if she would really do that and she said yes. She even said I could keep the Grande drink I had already started drinking.
Two minutes later, I had my originally desired Venti on my table. I felt a strong sense of resolution.
I am still very much afraid to ask for what I want; however, it’s small moments like this where I am encouraged to continue working on this mindset and tell you to not be afraid to ask for what you want.
If you need help, don’t be afraid to ask for help. If it’s a question to understand something, don’t be afraid to ask questions. In my experience, there’s a higher chance the person is willing to respond positively to what you’ve asked for than negatively. You have to believe that asking what you want is way more important than how people might judge you.
A final shout out to Cristine – thanks for being so kind and remaking that drink. Thank you for letting me practice what I believe and write about!
Happy Fourth of July folks!
